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Davis Cup! Recap 3-2-17

Congratulations to the Davis Cup for another successful Thursday night, as we vault into the third month of the 2017 season. How in the hell is it March already? 12 members and 1 guest played last night, despite a record three cancellations! Apparently John R Shotliff’s gambling debts are worse than we thought. Seek help, JR! Eddy Avetisyan lost his bid for perfect attendance. Russell Tran’s email was hacked by his parents. You need to secure your email, Russell!
The Top Story of the Night was and is the well being of the most beloved member of the Davis Cup, Yours Truly. I took a tumble after the whistle, tweaking my ankle. A hush fell over the league as I paced around the court, testing my weakened joint. Thankfully, to the delight of all in attendance, I was able to finish the night strongly. I am giving myself the ‘Play Through the Pain Award’. I thank you all for your thoughts, well wishes, candle light vigils, balloons released towards the heavens, late night prayers, and sacrificial lambs for my well being. I may be out for a short time, but will come back stronger than ever.

Of course I need to come back in a hurry, as league members are salivating at the possibility of claiming the most coveted award in the Davis Cup, the much heralded MVP (Most Volleyballous Player) trophy. ”Everybody’s playing like you, Alan, swatting and tapping the ball away,” said Commissioner Davis. That’s right. Everyone’s trying to be like me, but you will never be me! THE MVP IS MINE!!!

Team of the Night goes to Ray Chin, Pat Mak, Alan Ng, Steve Stiffler, and Milhouse van Houten. The bigs fought a vicious battle in the interior while Ray and Pat had ample opportunity to practice their fast break and cherry picking skills. Combine that with some crisp interior passing and we had ourselves a winning formula.

Player of the Night goes to Steve ‘Sure Shot’ Stiffler, who shot 75% from the restricted area via jumpers and transition layups. Steve, always the good soldier, made his shots when instructed to. Steve even dared to shoot another three, wanting to join in on that party that nearly everyone is in on (except you, Paul! Come on! You’re the only one not launching ill advised threes! What’s wrong with you? Let’s go!)

Forest lover Umer Chaudhry was completely undeterred by the trees in the interior, fearlessly driving in for runners and fighting for the rebounds.
Amateur Shakespearean enthusiast Craig Davis was trying to remember his diatribe for a weekend performance, when he forgot his words and suddenly screamed ”Line! Line!” at a diving Hun Yi, desperately trying to keep a ball inbounds to no avail.
Assist of the Night goes to Yours Truly for my 45 foot bounce pass to Steve Stiffler for the fast break layup. That’s right, long passes so that I don’t have to cross half court, are back!

Commissioner Davis has formally requested forensic analysis on the ‘light’ scratch on his chest. ”I got hit by a Fit Bit!” he declared, proudly brandishing the Scars of the Veteran

The night ended with a highly contested three game series won by Kevin Willis Guest, Marco “I shoot better than this” Lee, Hun “Through the legs Yi”, Craig “Suck it, Losers!” Davis, and  Dakota “I hate jet lag” Lin.
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This entry was posted on March 3, 2017 by in Basketball, Davis Cup, Recap.
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