Opatut League! Recap 7-22-17
Welcome to the post humidity delayed Monday morning recap of the Opatut League. Something to whet your appetite while we curse Mother Nature for soaking the courts today…
Congrats to the Opatut League for completing a sweaty Saturday morning. 20 players went against common sense and decided to play in the humidity. Ugh. Mother nature wins again, like she’s winning this morning. That bitch.
Player of the morning goes to whoever chose to stay home. Lord knows I wish I did. Yours Truly was so exhausted that afterwards I took a 4 hour nap! Productive with my weekends, I am! But we did, however, outlast the instructional league on the adjacent kids. Take that, kids! Go home to your juice boxes and Pokemon Go!
A massive argument erupted on center court yesterday, as players debated on who the whitest player was. In the choosing between John R Shotliff and Rob Hodax, the choice was unanimous; Yours Truly! Combining the fact that I was wearing an entire bottles worth of sunblock on my face, with me switching to a white jersey, it was no contest. I then immediately invoked my white privilege as I committed an egregious foul on JR, but then was let go without punishment!
Paul Iron Man Lee was completely unaffected by the humidity. When play spread out to two courts, Paul wanted to play to 9. Pat Maj vehemently objected, even offering to sit a game instead. Paul, are you crazy?
Rob Hodax has requested a newer better healthcare system for the Opatut League, to include the preexisting condition of being allergic to layups. Clutch 3 pointers from Rob’s Region, no problem. Layups on the haunting triple rims of Opatut, big problem.
Coach of the Morning goes to John R Shotliff. With Hun Yi deciding to go 1 on 4 against an exhausted and lazy defense, Yours Truly put his hands straight up in the air to defend Hun’s impending deep 3. ”That’s the right defense, Alan!” JR yelled, as both of us conveniently ignored the fact that I was 20 feet away from Hun as he launched his shot. But, I didn’t foul the shooter!
Teammates of the Morning to go Eddie Lam and Yours Truly for wearing the and jersey! We didn’t even plan it!
Rounding out the week…
– Half credit goes to Craig Davis on Thursday. Attempting to make a surprise visit, Craig showed up just in time to squeeze in half a game before the rains came in. That’s what you get for not responding to the email, Craig!
– Pat Mak, attempting to usher in sweeping reforms to the Opatut League, changed the playing schedule to ‘all day, every day.’ Unfortunately, his plans were a bit too aggressive, as he settled for 2.5 nights out of 4, and zero major legislation passed.
– And that’s all I can be bothered to remember during the week. Come on now, I barely remember what I had for lunch yesterday.